So usually I don't post about stuff like this, but for today, I'm going to lift that. Just to express my wonder at how fast 2.5 years can pass, and also how 2.5 years doesn't seem long enough.
It's my anniversary today, for 2.5 years. I never, ever really and truly thought I would get to this point with anyone, let alone with the best person I've ever met. I've had long relationships but I would invariably, after a matter of months, get to the point of being unhappy, wanting to change everything about the other person, or just wanting out. I haven't gotten to that point, and I've stopped waiting, because I don't think it's coming.
That's about as far as that's going to go, since I don't exactly air my personal life on the Internet and the person this is directed at already got his own blog post (also not long - sometimes I'm not good at feelings!), so yup. I just wanted to put it somewhere, and this is my blog, and I can post what I want. So there! (No one was arguing. Because who knows how many people actually read this?)
But yeah. 2.5 years is a long time. But also feels like it's not the right measurement, like I've been here for so much longer. In a good way.
I've written a couple of sappy posts. I think it's about time to write about some history. I'll have to set that up in the next few days. I work tomorrow and Wednesday and that usually means I don't wanna write a blog post, but maybe Thursday or Friday, since I'll be stuck at home without a car for both days!
Just putting this here because I wanna.
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Monday, January 07, 2013
Friday, December 07, 2012
That Stupid McDonald's Commercial
I just said something while talking to my far away (too far away) boyfriend about that stupid McDonald's commercial.
The stupid McDonald's commercial I'm referring to here is the one where it's the young couple have just moved into their first house together. The woman gets her (I'm assuming fiancee) a McDonald's gift card, and meanwhile, he's created a lovely setting for their McDonald's dinner. He made a Christmas tree out of packing boxes and draped Christmas lights, and then she gives him the card and they eat and stuff. That commercial is on EVERY YEAR, and its effect never changes for me. I used to hate it because it was adorable and I wasn't in a good relationship and that's all I wanted. Now, and for the past couple of years, I hate it because I'm in a great, amazing relationship and I still can't have.
What I said was: "I just want the moments." And it's true. That's all I want - the tiny moments that make up a true life together. And I can't have it yet. That's neither of our faults; we both have lives, and things we're working towards. My goodness, he's still in school! So it's not like it's really fixable. But if anything, that entitles me to a certain amount of complaining about it!
I just really liked what I said and wanted to put it somewhere. I want the moments. Especially at this time of year, I want the moments. I want to start traditions, with him, with our friends, with our families. But we can't yet and it bothers me.
That stupid McDonald's commercial.
The stupid McDonald's commercial I'm referring to here is the one where it's the young couple have just moved into their first house together. The woman gets her (I'm assuming fiancee) a McDonald's gift card, and meanwhile, he's created a lovely setting for their McDonald's dinner. He made a Christmas tree out of packing boxes and draped Christmas lights, and then she gives him the card and they eat and stuff. That commercial is on EVERY YEAR, and its effect never changes for me. I used to hate it because it was adorable and I wasn't in a good relationship and that's all I wanted. Now, and for the past couple of years, I hate it because I'm in a great, amazing relationship and I still can't have.
What I said was: "I just want the moments." And it's true. That's all I want - the tiny moments that make up a true life together. And I can't have it yet. That's neither of our faults; we both have lives, and things we're working towards. My goodness, he's still in school! So it's not like it's really fixable. But if anything, that entitles me to a certain amount of complaining about it!
I just really liked what I said and wanted to put it somewhere. I want the moments. Especially at this time of year, I want the moments. I want to start traditions, with him, with our friends, with our families. But we can't yet and it bothers me.
That stupid McDonald's commercial.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Long Distance Woes
So.
I'm in a long distance relationship. I have been in a long distance relationship for two years, approximately. (Two and a half years in January.) It has been a long time, and the distance is quite significant, as my boyfriend lives FAR across the province from me. It takes me about seven hours to get to where he lives on the train, and would take probably that same amount of time, give or take two hours, to drive it. (Which I have never done, because that's a LONG way to drive by myself!)
I don't really know why I'm writing this post. Well, I do - this is always in the back of my head. Distance is hard, as I also have a few friends - and even more now that I have graduated from Queen's - who live far away with me. That's hard, having friends that far away. But having a boyfriend that far away? A serious relationship that far away? That's even harder. At least, we find it so.
I think the moments it really comes down to how hard it is are those moments when you, inevitably, have fights. Trying to have a fight, at all, in the first place, on the Internet, is difficult. Even though you're fighting, it usually gets worse because no matter how careful you are, something might not come across the way you meant it. Maybe you forgot a word, maybe you made a typo, maybe you just didn't structure your sentence properly. Either way, it might result in the other person exploding. There can be a cooling down period, but it might stretch way too long if the other person just never replies to the e-mail you made the mistake in, or doesn't reply to the apology e-mail you sent when you realised you had made a mistake. (Usually after receiving a blasting e-mail, the equivalent of screaming on the Internet.) It's not the same as living in the same house, or even the same town - you can go home, you can go into another room, but you'll still be in the same sphere when the cooling down is done and it's time to talk.
On the Internet, when the cooling down period is done - and for us, the Internet is where the majority of our exchanges take place, since I don't enjoy talking on the phone for hours on end that much - there's not an easy way to walk back into the room. Things might still not be communicated properly. Even if there's an apology, it either doesn't work or it results in a long, drawn-out fight - maybe over hours, maybe over days. That's certainly happened before. It's hard - there's no make-up hug or kiss or anything; there's just an unsatisfying resolve that you know would be better, and you could make yourself more understood, if you could simply talk to the other person face-to-face.
I think that's the hardest for me, personally. I often take things the wrong way, and usually it's because he's made a genuine mistake in his phrasing or forgot a word or simply didn't realise what kind of mood I was in. (And really, how could he? He's not actually talking to me!) It's usually my fault, taking something the wrong way but it's hard to stop. We had a bad blow-out the other day and we barely talked the following couple of days because it was hard for me to go back to it.
You'd think it would all get easier over time. You'd think you'd start being able to stop taking things the wrong way, to stop getting in stupid fights, to stop missing the other person quite as much, to stop moaning about how expensive train tickets are or how much time they take up. But it doesn't get easier. If anything, it gets harder the longer you go on.
You get tired of everything so fast. But if it's serious - if you're truly in it for the long haul - you'll stay. Even though it's hard, even though you're exhausted, you stay because you love the other person. (I know, sappy!) But it never stops being difficult to handle, and the fights are sometimes more numerous. You go through phases, though they come at different times and different intensities. It sucks, but you just have to go through it hoping it will turn out for the best, and you'll come out shining at the end, and maybe you'll finally live even as close as a street away from him.
You never stop missing the other person, either. I know this will turn out, and that's the reason we've put so much work into keeping this relationship going, and that, in turn, is the reason I know it's all going to be worth it.
I'm in a long distance relationship. I have been in a long distance relationship for two years, approximately. (Two and a half years in January.) It has been a long time, and the distance is quite significant, as my boyfriend lives FAR across the province from me. It takes me about seven hours to get to where he lives on the train, and would take probably that same amount of time, give or take two hours, to drive it. (Which I have never done, because that's a LONG way to drive by myself!)
I don't really know why I'm writing this post. Well, I do - this is always in the back of my head. Distance is hard, as I also have a few friends - and even more now that I have graduated from Queen's - who live far away with me. That's hard, having friends that far away. But having a boyfriend that far away? A serious relationship that far away? That's even harder. At least, we find it so.
I think the moments it really comes down to how hard it is are those moments when you, inevitably, have fights. Trying to have a fight, at all, in the first place, on the Internet, is difficult. Even though you're fighting, it usually gets worse because no matter how careful you are, something might not come across the way you meant it. Maybe you forgot a word, maybe you made a typo, maybe you just didn't structure your sentence properly. Either way, it might result in the other person exploding. There can be a cooling down period, but it might stretch way too long if the other person just never replies to the e-mail you made the mistake in, or doesn't reply to the apology e-mail you sent when you realised you had made a mistake. (Usually after receiving a blasting e-mail, the equivalent of screaming on the Internet.) It's not the same as living in the same house, or even the same town - you can go home, you can go into another room, but you'll still be in the same sphere when the cooling down is done and it's time to talk.
On the Internet, when the cooling down period is done - and for us, the Internet is where the majority of our exchanges take place, since I don't enjoy talking on the phone for hours on end that much - there's not an easy way to walk back into the room. Things might still not be communicated properly. Even if there's an apology, it either doesn't work or it results in a long, drawn-out fight - maybe over hours, maybe over days. That's certainly happened before. It's hard - there's no make-up hug or kiss or anything; there's just an unsatisfying resolve that you know would be better, and you could make yourself more understood, if you could simply talk to the other person face-to-face.
I think that's the hardest for me, personally. I often take things the wrong way, and usually it's because he's made a genuine mistake in his phrasing or forgot a word or simply didn't realise what kind of mood I was in. (And really, how could he? He's not actually talking to me!) It's usually my fault, taking something the wrong way but it's hard to stop. We had a bad blow-out the other day and we barely talked the following couple of days because it was hard for me to go back to it.
You'd think it would all get easier over time. You'd think you'd start being able to stop taking things the wrong way, to stop getting in stupid fights, to stop missing the other person quite as much, to stop moaning about how expensive train tickets are or how much time they take up. But it doesn't get easier. If anything, it gets harder the longer you go on.
You get tired of everything so fast. But if it's serious - if you're truly in it for the long haul - you'll stay. Even though it's hard, even though you're exhausted, you stay because you love the other person. (I know, sappy!) But it never stops being difficult to handle, and the fights are sometimes more numerous. You go through phases, though they come at different times and different intensities. It sucks, but you just have to go through it hoping it will turn out for the best, and you'll come out shining at the end, and maybe you'll finally live even as close as a street away from him.
You never stop missing the other person, either. I know this will turn out, and that's the reason we've put so much work into keeping this relationship going, and that, in turn, is the reason I know it's all going to be worth it.
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